I was attending the SFWA virtual Nebula Conference this past weekend, and like many atendees was startled by Sunday afternoon’s announcement that Mercedes Lackey, the writer who had been named a Damon Knight Grand Master just the previous evening, had been removed from the Conference for using a racial slur while participating in a panel discussion on Saturday.

This got me thinking.

To begin with, I should note that Mercedes Lackey is 71 years old. I’m 64, just seven years younger than she. My initial “gut” reaction was that this was harsh. I can remember a day when the word she used was commonly heard, especially from the lips of older people, and am inclined to judge older people more generously. It really is hard to change when you get older!

But on further reflection, I realized that it’s been half a century since this term was common. Fifty years ago, I was a teenager and the people using it were in their sixties. Now I am in my sixties, but still unconsciously conflating people older than me, like Mercedes—who, I reiterate, is only seven years older than I am—with people who were in their sixties fifty years ago, that is to say, people who were born around 1910 and would be more than 110 years old if they were alive today, which they are not.

The television show All in the Family premiered in 1971, and on that show, Archie Bunker regularly used the same term Mercedes Lackey used. But even in 1971, his use of that term was intended to convey his insensitivity, and even within the confines of the show, African-American characters complained about it. Please note that when All in the Family premiered, Mercedes Lackey was 21 years old. I was 14.

So there really is no excuse for using in 2022 a word that was considered insensitive even in 1971. Moreover, the fact that one would blurt out such a word in a public forum is strongly suggestive that one uses the word privately with some frequency. I have never in my life used that word in that way, not even among my closest friends and family, and thus have never had the slightest difficulty avoiding it in more public venues.

Okay, but isn’t SFWA spoiling the occasion for Mercedes Lackey during what is supposed to be one of the high points of her career? Maybe, but then Mercedes Lackey spoiled the occasion for a number of Nebula Conference attendees, notably the African-American writer who shared the panel with her.

I have a confession to make: I watched that panel and the epithet in question went right by me. I didn’t even notice it. Of course, that’s because I am not one of the people who is hurt by that particular word. It’s much easier to be generous about this kind of thing when you aren’t personally affected by it.

Also, the very same circumstances that might make you inclined to give Mercedes Lackey a pass—that she’s an older writer with a distinguished career, that this was, in some sense, “her” special event and the rest of us are celebrating her—these are always the reasons given to let a slight go unaddressed.

It is the most powerful people, the most respected people, the elders among us, who are the most likely to get a free pass. But is that really fair? Surely the most powerful, the most respected, the elder leaders, also bear greater responsibility to lead us all in a better direction. To whom much is given, much is required, to coin a phrase.

We’ve tried for fifty years to rely on gentle persuasion to get people to become more sensitive, and you see how far that’s gotten us. Maybe The Mallet of Loving Correction (to coin another phrase) is more effective. And maybe demonstrating that even those who are bigger than we are have to answer for their use of language helps drive the point home.

That’s why I support the decision of the SWFA Board of Directors.